Sweet Release

"I exist as I am, that is enough, 

If no other in the world be aware I sit content, 

And if each and all be aware I sit content. 

One world is aware and by far the largest to me, and that is myself, 

And whether I come to my own to-day or in ten thousand or ten 

million years, 

I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness I can wait. 

My foothold is tenon'd and mortis'd in granite, 

I laugh at what you call dissolution, 

And I know the amplitude of time."
-Whitman

   These days are such sweet release. The first day of fall arrived,  the air and my emotions became clear as the blue autumn sky.  
   Summer was stifling this year.  I held my breath.  The pressure and the heat so consistent, I only felt the release-- a sharp inhale of pumpkin spice and contentment.  Breath and breadth.
   Suddenly, I love my apartment, my dog, and my boyfriend fresh and new.  My world satisfying and whole like a fresh-picked apple.

photo by Jenn Pappa

photo by Emily Bongarzone

    I love each autumn day...waking up in my bed with a thousand pillows, the warm coffee in my cup every morning, the chill in the downtown air as I walk Mercy (she's looking for the perfect spot, I'm looking for the brightest leaf),  the talks with so many old friends I cherish, the studying, the emphasis I've placed on cooking at home these days, the local, fresh, wide variety of foods, the love of a beautiful man that never, ever falters even though I do (see section about summer above).    

photo by Kevin Rumley

    I wish I could hold on to this sweet release.  I know that with winter I will be different again, and spring and summer...but how I love my autumn self.